While job opportunities abound on university sites like hirealonghorn.org and accessUT, this dummie decided to hit up the Austin job market old school style and took the hunt to the streets.

Some revelations/awkward highlights:

1. Group Interviewing. Thoughts: weird; There is nothing like a group of five girls bying to answer the same questions better than each other…. especially in the middle of a store….. during operational hours…. yeah…

2. Cover letters. Thoughts: good requirement for career oriented jobs; bad requirement for coffee shops, unless you feel called to all things caffeinated.

The job hunt resumes tomorrow. Tips welcomed. Encouragement needed.

So these last few weeks of school push even the most dedicated and responsible student to the brink of insanity. In honor of this delirium, UT4D invites you to participate in our first ever photo contest. Here’s how it works:

 1. See students studying/sleeping/looking stressed around the city

2. Snap a pic.

3. Send the pic and caption to UTforDummiesATgmailDOTcom.

The pics will be judged, ranked then uploaded to the site in all of their glory the day after finals end. So step up to the challenge and have some fun during these weeks of hell….

In honor of Earth Day, the city of Austin formulated a little Flash game to test the recycling knowledge of Austin children. Luckily, my maturity is equivalent and I just spent an hour playing “Recycling Round-up” using my character of choice, Rex the dog.

So besides chillin’ on the West Mall getting goodies from all the good-natured UT orgs saying the word “green” more times than you can count, fresh up on some knowledge imposed upon you by ATX’s finest.

I’m sure you’ve used it to locate that rouge group member, but the UT directory cuts it close by revealing your cell phone number, residential address, nicknames, and e-mail address to anyone searching for it. Any more into your privacy and there’ll be posted pictures of you taking that occasional nap on campus!

Restrict your info and protect yourself!

On his comedy tour through the nation, Comedian
href=”http://www.brianregan.com/” target=”_blank”>Brian Regan took a brief stop to perform last night at the Austin Music Hall

Highlight:

In the midst of a joke about how a used car dealership tied balloons to everyone of their cars in order to increase sales, Regan turns away from the crowd. He expresses how humans are fascinated by the mere presence of balloons, and as he turns sideways, a half dead balloon floats down from the ceiling (this was not staged). The wilted balloon falls into the laughing crowd, and Regan–having missed seeing the balloon–turns to the crowd and says, “I feel like I’m the only person in this room who has no idea whats going on right now”

Someone yells, “a balloon, a balloon,” and Regan looks down to where the balloon fell into the audience

“I see. Yeah, I don’t want to put you into a tight spot or anything, but I’m going to need you to pop that balloon. Because, you see, I’ve been in the industry long enough to know I can’t compete with a balloon.”

It’s never too early to get tickets for Austin City Limits, especially now that they’ve released the line-up for the September event.

The list includes:

Foo Fighters

Gnarls Barkley

Beck

The Raconteurs

and more…

Registration course schedules are lovely–except for classes that have vague titles such as, “The Uncanny,” or history courses that cause unprecedented cringing when the workload is unknown. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was some reference as to what the classes were about, and if they had finals, and papers…

Yep, it exists in the midst of the Liberal Arts college Web site like shiny buried treasure. All classes listed with full descriptions of exactly what you’ll learn, how many tests you will take, and how many papers you will write.

Fall ‘08 doesn’t stand a chance against these mad skills.

 
So… apparently hyenas defecate bone.

…..

Anyways according to mass email In honor of Earth Day, Jack Hanna’s coming to teach us longhorns how to play nice with the environment (and to dissect poo?). Yesss please.

7 p.m., April 22, 2008

Admission to the Jack Hanna event is free. UT students, faculty and staff may obtain passes from the Texas Union Student Events Center Events & Info Desk (Room 4.300) by presenting a UT ID.  Pass distribution will begin TOMORROW morning at 8:00 AM.

Get’em while they’re hot.

Hole in the Wall on Guadalupe is making some changes. They’ve completely transformed the back room by taking out the upper-level seating and adding a huge stage. They’ve also opened the side door where the shuffleboard table was. All patrons must enter and exit the patio through those double doors. The back bar is also extended to block the door that used to lead to the outdoor patio.

Don’t worry. The beer, liquor and food selections are still great. The bar just isn’t a hole anymore. They’re movin’ on up……..

Here at UT for Dummies, we are committed to the dispersal of all things that will enhance the average longhorn experience. That being said, I now approach the ever-sensitive topic of college-dating (which will all know is a ball-and-chain away from til’ death to us part).

Since I know little to nothing about such an intensely debated and sometimes hated subject, I turn to a the wisdom of a UT grad, Ben Goldfarb’s article, ”Life-coaching: The 7.3 rules for a happy marriage.”

Some highlights,

2.Metaphors

Select a metaphor that best defines your marriage. Some couples see themselves as co-pilots on a transatlantic journey. Others view themselves as vice presidents of a corporation. I met a couple recently who sees their marriage as an intricate game involving Nerf ™ balls, spatulas, and mosquito netting.

…

7. Tupperware ™

Buy lots of Tupperware ™. I have no vested interest in Tupperware ™, nor do I plan on becoming a distributor. I’ve never even been to a Tupperware ™ party, although I’ve heard they can get pretty wild. However, Tupperware ™ products maintain the “cook and freeze” lifestyle that might contribute more to marital bliss than any other single factor.

Registration time is upon us, and while some groan at taking the stereotypical Fine Arts course to fulfill credits, others pull hair to find filler time for prime thumb-twiddling before graduation.

UT for Dummies has a few recommendations to help escape HIS 315: United States, 1492-1865 and other life draining courses.

For the Fine Arts credit:

Try MUS 307: History of Rock music. The homework equals… listening to really good music.

For the American history credit:

• AFR 374D/ WGS 340: Black women in America
• AFR 374D/ AMS 321/ MAS 374: US in Civil Rights Era
• AMS 310: Intro to American Studies
• AMS 370: Movies and Modern America
• WGS 301: US Women and Gender until 1865
• AAS 325: History of the US West
• R S 346: Jesus in American culture

For the writing courses credit:

• AMS 311S: Coming of age in America (youth culture)
• AMS 311S: American Places of Leisure
• WGS 322: Sociology of Masculinities (examines the macho effect)
• RHE 309K, #45035: Rhetoric of Fairy Tales
• RHE 309K, #45045: Rhetoric of the American future
• RHE 309K, #45060: Rhetoric of comic books
• RHE 309K, #45075: Rhetoric of makeovers
• RHE 309K, #45125: Rhetoric of Southern rock
• RHE 309K, #45155: Rhetoric of conspiracy theories

For the whatev credit:

• ENS 107S, #25460: Javanese Gamelan. Only here will you be able to have a one-hour class of hitting a gong. Additionally, UT is one of 12 colleges in the country to have a gamelan class.
• ENS 107S, #25490: North Indian music. A tough class to get into due to size limitations… but fulfill your dream of learning sitar from one of Ravi Shankar’s own students. Yes, he has met George Harrison.

Of course, these are only just a few courses to take–but none of these require prerequisites for even the biggest dummie.

So on Sunday night, some guy in Jester beat the crap out of some drunken man who stumbled into his room. Apparently the man had waltzed right in and hit the student in the face, before the Jester rez knocked him clean out.

Although my mom encouraged me to purchase some mace before coming to this big bad city, I realized today that this small town chick would be in a world of hurt if a drunken idiot hit her in the face.

So I decided to look up some places to take some lesson in general butt-kicking. Here’s what I found near campus:

Kim Soo Karate on South Lamar:

Kinda pricey at 120 bucks for six weeks. But apparently you get one of those bathrobe uniforms and a gym bag.

Plus, it looks like these gals could take on anybody:

And speaking of pics… sign me up for whatever class this woman is taking…

Sun Dragon Martial Arts on Riverside. $85.

And they have this archive of blogs called “Why I Train.” Here’s a little morsel from on for all you peeps out there…

Jen

Training Since: August 2005

I train because to not train is to deny myself needs
that are as primal as hunger,
natural as breathing,
innate as a heartbeat.

My body needs movement.
Therefore,
I move it though kata, kihons,
self-defense drills.
I move it against bags and ukes.
I move it through kumite.

My mind needs puzzles;
to sort through the intricacies of
a combination or a kata
keeps me sharp and ready.

My soul needs community.
Walking into the dojo is to
walk into a friend’s embrace
irrespective of the quality
of your mood,
irrespective of what you are
able to give that day.

To train is to meet the requirements of my soul’s dynamism.
I am blessed to do that at Sun Dragon.

Friends and hands of death? Yes please.

My condo complex is a giant chocolate chip in the West Campus cookie. The Croix is infamous for its West Campus expansion area of who knows how many block(-party)s.

This explanation barely scrapes the gentle surface of the environmental transformation process the Croix experiences every Saturday night to Sunday morning.

The saga of my upstairs neighbors continues. Known for previously throwing trash down the stairs and bashing the upstairs window in a fit of drunken rage, last night their story was toned down when they simply could not finish their last bite of pizza and their last sip of Coca Cola.

The pizza was not found on the scene.

This has been a brief and first introductory episode of “The Croix Report.” Tune in next Sunday for more compartmentalized apartment stories, or later this eve as more details unfold.

Children of the 90s’, I beckon thee;

Remember this character?

Ya, we all remember Hammer time. And that time is again.

Meet A’Keiba Burrell, Sir Hammer’s lovely 20-year-old daughter… AND UT MUSIC STUDENT.

Bam. Burrell, however, has taken the semester off to participate in MTV’s “Rock the Cradle,” a show about celebrity children who compete in a talent-show-type environment. The audience gets to vote who goes and stays.

Basically, a vote for her is a vote for UT and for MC Hammer. Can’t touch this…

Ever read the UTPD Campus Watch archive?

First and foremost, the writing is brilliant. Without it, one would never know that UT police officers move with “cat-like reflexes.”

UT for Dummies fave crime from yesterday:

Burglary of Coin-Operated Machine: A UT staff member discovered four coin-operated machines located inside the women’s restroom had been forced open and an unknown amount of product had been stolen. Loss value: Unknown at this time. Discovered on: 3-28-07 at 9:30 PM.

Loss value of tampons: priceless, is what they meant to say.

Additionally, the faithful squad posted this:

“Again the University of Texas Police Department is asking for your assistance in reporting any and all suspicious activity that you witness. Your telephone call could earn you a pizza of your choice.”

For joining clubs, solving crime, winning sports games… we salute you pizza.