It has certainly been awhile UT(4)D, but hello again. It is nice to see you.
Amidst finals, packing, interning, and missing Austin entirely too much, it
seems time has gotten away from me.

That being said, this post may be a little dated, but is something I have
wanted to throw out there for a good while now.

After the death of a Sigma Alpha Epsilon pledge in 2006, the fraternity and
its hazing policies have been under investigation. Eventually, in late April
the fraternity and UT reached an agreement that allows for the organization
to continue to be recognized by the university, yet changes the pledging
process and regulates social activities.

Four members of the fraternity have also been charged with misdemeanor
hazing.

The agreement reached between the university and the fraternity has been
criticized by - well, it has been criticized by me; but hear me out.

The agreement bans hazing. Genius. I am glad that UT has reached an
agreement based on banning hazing when that has been a rule for many years
now.

Ouch, you don’t want to slap anyone’s wrist too hard, now do you?

The charges made against the fraternity members have also been criticized. The
widely accepted notion is that all fraternities haze and that these guys are
being made an example. Well, yes, they are setting an example (another point
reached in the agreement to ‘lead other UT fraternities in making similar
changes’) of what could happen when excessive hazing is involved in social
organizations. Yes, it happens throughout campus, but this organization was
doing especially bad things, things that may or may not be done elsewhere on
campus, and they got caught because someone died.

As I write this, I can’t help but remember the Duke lacrosse case, and the
critics across the country that cried ‘foul play’. They dismissed the ordeal
as an overaggressive prosecutor going after upper class white men – and, by
all accounts, he was. The fundamental difference, however, is that their
case was brought about by heresy.  On these here 40 Acres, though, it is a
situation of facts, which were in fact conceded by the accused parties.  These
young men did something wrong, they
got caught (again, I stress, because someone died), and now, they pay the
price.  Whether or not they were made to be scapegoats is largely
irrelevant.

This is not an example being made out of innocent people. UT should look
over that agreement once more, and strive to set an example themselves. Allowing the
organization to remain on campus because they agreed stop hazing, when they
were well aware of its illegality in the first place? Very noble indeed.

Perhaps they should set an example that demonstrates that hazing of this
magnitude will not be permitted with punishment equal to a bit more than a
‘time out’

Ah, graduation…

the memories,

the gifts,

the remarkably expensive polyester gowns…

Yes, tonight (much like some species of bird) we shove an entire class of longhorns off the cliff that rises above work life, forcing them into the “Real World” ( a phrase that no longer refers to an MTV reality show).

For those of us still left in the trenches of a university education. I offer a solution to panicked stricken friends: the friendly social get together known as the graduation partay

TIPS for a successful celebration:

1. Libations (they will make all of the following tips EVEN better… duh)

2. Hilarious old pics of everyone peacing out. (naturally the more awful/and/or/hilarious the better)

3. An extensive playlists of songs para baliar. (include those that everyone knows but won’t admit to knowing…)

4. Toasts and tacky graduation garb (for the pics sake)

Any other things I missed?

CONGRADULATIONS LONGHORNS!

On a scale of 1 to 10, this graph makes no sense.

UT4D hearts finals.

I’m sure you’ve used it to locate that rouge group member, but the UT directory cuts it close by revealing your cell phone number, residential address, nicknames, and e-mail address to anyone searching for it. Any more into your privacy and there’ll be posted pictures of you taking that occasional nap on campus!

Restrict your info and protect yourself!

Ever wonder what your professors would do if you actually had a valid excuse for missing tons of class?

Before I had shoulder surgery, I didn’t just wonder, I worried. The whole “excused” absence thing can be vague, and, in my case, surgery and hospitalization soon morphed into extreme pain and strict bed rest. The 4 days of recovery time I had planned weren’t enough, and the rising number of absences were a weight on my mind.

Maybe this is common knowledge, but keeping continuous contact with your profs and providing updates on your status is the best way to ensure a smooth transition back to school, without any scary surprises. Email is a wonderful thing.

In my case, the professors and TA’s were understanding, and their notes of encouragement actually made me more inclined to get out of bed and back to class.

If the situation is severe, and you doubt you’ll be able to pass a class after an injury or other emergency, be sure to tell your academic adviser ASAP, so all the technical stuff can get figured out without a penalty on that coveted record.

Registration course schedules are lovely–except for classes that have vague titles such as, “The Uncanny,” or history courses that cause unprecedented cringing when the workload is unknown. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was some reference as to what the classes were about, and if they had finals, and papers…

Yep, it exists in the midst of the Liberal Arts college Web site like shiny buried treasure. All classes listed with full descriptions of exactly what you’ll learn, how many tests you will take, and how many papers you will write.

Fall ‘08 doesn’t stand a chance against these mad skills.

UT4D is naming the best napping accommodations on campus: 3rd floor of the Union!

It’s quiet, it’s comfy and there are plenty of people sleeping so you don’t feel like a target for pranks (Hint: Use your stuff as a pillow. No matter how safe you feel, beware of kleptos and keep your things guarded!).

Here’s a little documentation of the prime napping conditions UT4D acquired:

Study and nap. Nap and study. But don’t forget to set an alarm so you don’t miss class and contradict the reason for staying on campus to get some shut eye!

UT is home to one powerful phallic symbol: a giant laser that produces a petawatt (a quadrillion watts) of energy. The laser is part of the Texas Petawatt Project–supporting the most powerful laser on earth.

Even Wired magazine featured a snazzy article today–that’s right FEATURED–on its site. Notice, however, that all the photos were given to them?

That’s because it’s top secret–Damn right. Locked away in the basement of some cold, ugly engineering building, only authorized personal may access it. Few have seen it and fewer have lived to tell of it… Others furtively captured a video for us on a mobile phone.

The laser is actually so powerful, its capable of creating a star.

*And what the Daily Texan didn’t tell you– it’s used for expanding fusion energy research.

Damn we’re cool.

Registration time is upon us, and while some groan at taking the stereotypical Fine Arts course to fulfill credits, others pull hair to find filler time for prime thumb-twiddling before graduation.

UT for Dummies has a few recommendations to help escape HIS 315: United States, 1492-1865 and other life draining courses.

For the Fine Arts credit:

Try MUS 307: History of Rock music. The homework equals… listening to really good music.

For the American history credit:

• AFR 374D/ WGS 340: Black women in America
• AFR 374D/ AMS 321/ MAS 374: US in Civil Rights Era
• AMS 310: Intro to American Studies
• AMS 370: Movies and Modern America
• WGS 301: US Women and Gender until 1865
• AAS 325: History of the US West
• R S 346: Jesus in American culture

For the writing courses credit:

• AMS 311S: Coming of age in America (youth culture)
• AMS 311S: American Places of Leisure
• WGS 322: Sociology of Masculinities (examines the macho effect)
• RHE 309K, #45035: Rhetoric of Fairy Tales
• RHE 309K, #45045: Rhetoric of the American future
• RHE 309K, #45060: Rhetoric of comic books
• RHE 309K, #45075: Rhetoric of makeovers
• RHE 309K, #45125: Rhetoric of Southern rock
• RHE 309K, #45155: Rhetoric of conspiracy theories

For the whatev credit:

• ENS 107S, #25460: Javanese Gamelan. Only here will you be able to have a one-hour class of hitting a gong. Additionally, UT is one of 12 colleges in the country to have a gamelan class.
• ENS 107S, #25490: North Indian music. A tough class to get into due to size limitations… but fulfill your dream of learning sitar from one of Ravi Shankar’s own students. Yes, he has met George Harrison.

Of course, these are only just a few courses to take–but none of these require prerequisites for even the biggest dummie.