Once upon a time, Alanis Morissette sang about ironic things.

It wasn’t anyone we know’s wedding day, but last night, some companions of mine and I visited the Elephant Room, which, if you don’t know, is located in a basement cellar and has live jazz every single night of the week.

We arrived around 10 p.m. We left around 1 a.m. Basically, the world looked like some Will Smith/ I Am Legend shit when we got out. We were buzzed and confused. And it looked like the trees of Austin threw up everywhere.

Which brings me to my next point. We were safe drinking away at a jazz bar in a basement during a “tornado.”

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

I have posted a picture of some of my apt. damage to our lovely Flickr (let us know if you want to submit yours for display).

Elephant Room: the place to booze during inclement weather.

Don’t get too excited, because we’re just talking about cardboard boxes.

A little trip to the Co-op the other day alerted UTDummies and the rest of the hopeless and migrant student population that our Longhorn-brand-selling-amigos were charging almost $3 for one cardboard box.

Additionally, a virtual trip to craigslist alerted UTDummies that everyone is freaking out and needs boxes.

So where to go to get sturdy, nice boxes for free, and with endless supply? The liquor store.

Why, we visited Centennial on Guadalupe and 30th just yesterday, and the nice man was just begging us to take away his boxes bearing the lovely names of “Wild Turkey,” “Buffalo Trace,” and “Captain Morgan”–all of our good friends.

This website has a list of liquor stores in Austin. Just remember, you went for the boxes.

To stay undercover, we video-ed from a point-and-shoot (hence the side view); however, it didn’t stop merry E-Bus riders from getting suspicious about the camera. Here’s the story.

Someone isn’t taking finals well.

While job opportunities abound on university sites like hirealonghorn.org and accessUT, this dummie decided to hit up the Austin job market old school style and took the hunt to the streets.

Some revelations/awkward highlights:

1. Group Interviewing. Thoughts: weird; There is nothing like a group of five girls bying to answer the same questions better than each other…. especially in the middle of a store….. during operational hours…. yeah…

2. Cover letters. Thoughts: good requirement for career oriented jobs; bad requirement for coffee shops, unless you feel called to all things caffeinated.

The job hunt resumes tomorrow. Tips welcomed. Encouragement needed.

When my fellow comrades and I began this outrageous concoction of UT pop culture, we decided on the name “UT for Dummies” without thinking that, oh shit, we are violating copyright law.

Thus, we were presented with a choice.

a) We pay the “For Dummies” publishing company money to license the name, and thus have that stupid little triangular man with jagged hair put on our site.

(<–That’s him and the book we should have read)

or, option b) We change the name to something similar and not copyrighted.

Therefore, you have been REDIRECTED to UTdummies.com until our illegal property dies from malnutrition. Doesn’t this site look familiar and legal?

We’ve packed our bags. Spring cleaning is done, and we aren’t getting sued.

1) Isn’t she contemplating that “porn” a little too hard?

2) Does this girl know she is in this ad?

If to you, East Austin means riding the Disch-Falk bus, then there’s definitely a part of this fine city that you need to explore more.  The old businesses and diverse groups of people on the east side are a refreshing change from the on-campus lifestyle.

There are also a lot of social and cultural changes going on over there, including gentrification.  East Becomes Central is a website worth checking out to…you know… learn stuff.

As University of Texas students, we hail from far and wide to trek through campus everyday in the pursuit of a higher education. We patiently wait for busses, dodge oncoming traffic at busy intersections, and barely bypass those who stop to chat front and center on narrow campus sidewalks.

But amidst all of our different campus obstacles there seems to be one thing we have all encountered, withstood, and conquered. Maybe it’s something in the water but as of becoming UT students we have all seemed to master a particular and systematic approach to evading the West Mall handouts.  

Some dramatically drop their heads to avoid eye contact, others conveniently check their cell phones for text messages or missed calls, and few even avoid the West Mall altogether eliminating any possibility of confrontation with a brightly colored flyer.

 It’s a war zone out there kids. Flyers, candy, and baked goods bombard you from every angle. If you don’t watch out who knows what these persistent and enthusiastic volunteers could thrust upon you…flag football tournaments? LSAT classes? A political endorsement flyer?? Below is proof that these people are out there, they want you, and they don’t seem to care even a little bit if they are repeatedly ignored in their attempts.