Guy 1: “Hey man, did you get to try those brownies last night?”
Guy 2: “Ya they were awesome!”
Guy 1: “Ya, Eric did a really good job. Too bad they didn’t have any ::nudge:: ::nudge:: special ingredients in them.”
Guy 2: “Ya they did!”
Guy 1: “Nuh uh! Are you sure?”
Guy 2: “I saw the box! There was fudge I think.”
::uncomfortable silence::
Guy 1: “That’s not what I meant, man.”
Once a year, the Texas Travesty puts on a comedic film fest showing short fliks made by UT kiddoes. And that once in 2008 is tonight at 8 p.m., Union Theater. But that’s not all; right after the fest, the movie “Super High Me,” a film that took SXSW Film by storm this March, will also be screened… for free.
Tomorrow, get your sex education with a free screening of “The Education of Shelby Knox” from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. at the Union Theater. Knox is a UT alum that’s been a guest-blogger for The Huffington Post and has fought against teaching abstinence-only.
Knox herself will be there, and so will free pizza.
Excuses? None.
On a scale of 1 to 10, this graph makes no sense.
UT4D hearts finals.
So these last few weeks of school push even the most dedicated and responsible student to the brink of insanity. In honor of this delirium, UT4D invites you to participate in our first ever photo contest. Here’s how it works:
1. See students studying/sleeping/looking stressed around the city
2. Snap a pic.
3. Send the pic and caption to UTforDummiesATgmailDOTcom.
The pics will be judged, ranked then uploaded to the site in all of their glory the day after finals end. So step up to the challenge and have some fun during these weeks of hell….
Parents love Bevo Bucks. Ask them for cash, and they might say no; ask them for Bevo Bucks, and they will at least think twice–They know at least you can’t buy (illegal) drugs with them (yet).
But Bevo has cut some loopholes with those horns. There are a few things mom and pop didn’t think about or know about.
1. Get a nice haircut.
Orbit Salon is located on 500 W. 18th St. And, I actually have had my hair cut there before (with Bevo Bucks) and they do a fantastic job. Use those five bucks on something that lasts for a month.
2. Pay your sin tax and grab a beverage.
Both the CVS on the Drag and the convenient store in Dobie mall accept Bevo Bucks. Bevo asks for you to not take advantage of him, with that being said.
3. Get yo’ meds.
In Austin, EVERY season is allergy season (yay!). The UT Pharmacy accepts Bevo Bucks for medicine and all the goodies you can buy within the store (toothpaste, gum, candy…).
4. Lazily order food.
Places on the Drag like Veggie Heaven don’t accept Bevo Bucks, but like I said, loophole.
Longhorn Delivery accepts Bevo Bucks and delivers from 27 different restaurants around campus (many of which don’t individually accept BB). But that’s not all… They also deliver toiletries, school supplies, cigarettes, batteries, light bulbs, hangover relief, condoms, and even guitar picks.
Tell the ‘rents you need some food money and put it on Bevo’s tab.
Nelo is this local band that sounds like a combination of Dave Matthews and John Mayer. They are really awesome and their new CD just came out on Tuesday. I highly recommend it! They are also playing at Antones on Saturday night (4/26). On Wednesday, their CD was 40 on the top CD’s purchased on iTunes, so that definitely confirms they are awesome! Check out their Web site and go hear them live on Saturday. You won’t be disappointed. www.nelomusic.com
Three aggravated robberies in the past three weeks? Yikes. And the fact he keeps going back to the RLM makes me wonder how bad he wants that laser.
According to the descriptions from UTPD, the culprit is about 6 foot, medium build, wearing a black mask, and brandishing a weapon. 
In other words, if you see a dude like this walking around, you’ve got him.
Crime has risen on the premises, no doubt. There was not even a record of a robbery or forced burglary on UT campus in 2008 according to the UTPD crime statistics. In 2007, only one forced burglary was reported and no robberies whatsoever.
So what’s the deal? How safe are we really? UT administrators have refused to disclose the number of surveillance cameras on campus or their locations.
With finals coming up, walking home at night is inevitable (except at that point, no student is nothin’ to f with). Walking in groups at this time is especially inconvenient.
Safety is knowing where we can be observed on camera. Some pepper spray wouldn’t kill you either (get it at any bicycle shop–there is one on 24th and Rio Grande and another on 29th and Lamar).
Protect yourself–Zorro is still out there.
In honor of Earth Day I shall share with UT4D a little ‘green’ information of my own. It is green in the environmentally friendly way as well as green in the wallet friendly way.
The organizations aim is to improve the community through the reduction of traffic, a promotion of sustainable economic development, an increase the number of transportation options, and an improvement in air quality. For the college friendly post that this is, I will stress the economic development benefits of the program. For the Earth Day friendly post that this is, I will stress the air quality improvements of the program.
There are car pick-up locations in
Bands, fans, BBQ and a statue resembling an elated Richard Simmons ….. a winning combination for an optimum concert going experience?
According to ContactMusic.com, the answer is yes.
Congratulations, Stubb’s. For today you are venue king. The rest are clearly not worthy…
In honor of Earth Day, the city of Austin formulated a little Flash game to test the recycling knowledge of Austin children. Luckily, my maturity is equivalent and I just spent an hour playing “Recycling Round-up” using my character of choice, Rex the dog.
So besides chillin’ on the West Mall getting goodies from all the good-natured UT orgs saying the word “green” more times than you can count, fresh up on some knowledge imposed upon you by ATX’s finest.
At approximately 9:10 this evening, my house - located on 44th and Red River - was broken into.
The weapon: a rock, pictured below.
The act: rock was thrown from backyard, through glass door that was just installed in the back of our house. I came home from studying, walked in the kitchen door, stumbled on the rock and heard a crackling noise. Glass was everywhere, and when I didn’t see my dog, I immediately ran outside and called 911.
The motive: unknown.
Stolen goods: none. Plus I found my dog (THANK GOODNESS), scared shitless, hiding under my bed.
Take this as a warning, and keep an eye out for each other. Austin feels safe. Hyde Park seems like the most friendly neighborhood ever. Please be careful and let us know if you have any information.
In light of the stoner’s holiday that blew in with a cloud of BBQ smoke and out with a cloud of.. well.. you know.., I decided to investigate a UT myth that has been circling around campus for the last few decades.
A close friend and alibi, who graduated from UT in the late ’90s, told me about a hidden ‘pipe’ - if you will - that facilitated the smoking of various plants and herbs on campus. Apparently there was a time when smoking whatever/whenever was tolerated? Not sure. Anyway, this pipe is supposed to be carved out of the wall in this vicinity:
In case you can’t recognize this space, it is the area to the Southeast of the tower. The above picture is only an example of the wall, but I was not given any specific directions on where to look for this mystery piece. I examined the wall with much precision, but all I found were blemishes in the stone like this one:
After searching for something I decided doesn’t exist, I realized the task at hand was much too large for one person. That wall is huge! I was looking for a needle in a hay stack.
Urban legend or real antique paraphernalia? I wish i knew..
I’m sure you’ve used it to locate that rouge group member, but the UT directory cuts it close by revealing your cell phone number, residential address, nicknames, and e-mail address to anyone searching for it. Any more into your privacy and there’ll be posted pictures of you taking that occasional nap on campus!
After enduring a day and a half of the master cleanse, I quit. And I’m not a quitter.
I quit for the following reasons:
a) I’m a journalist, which means coffee is at the top of my food group pyramid. No caffeine? No thanks.
b) As I gulped my first salt water cleanse, I watched an assortment of weirdos’ videos on YouTube who vlogged about their own master cleanse experience. I don’t know if it was their personality or the diet, but I didn’t want to be anything like them…
c) I have colitis, which the cleanse is actually supposed to help. Except,I think it almost killed me instead.
d) Starvation is pretty distracting from school. My weekend activities consisted of not eating, trying to study, and sleeping.
e) A lot of people do this thing to lose weight. The only fat I have to lose is in my ass–And I like my ass. It’s here to stay.
f) I had no genuine motive. What I sought in the experience I got: a greater appreciation for eating. So if I gain weight in the coming weeks, it was the cleanse’s fault.
Overall, I’d say try it, but don’t expect to like it. My friend who lent me the book did it over Xmas break–These kinds of vacation periods are the best times to do it, not during hectic end-of-semester hell. Do it if you need it, but remember that the water weight you lose will come back to those thighs. And then, like a fool, you will reflect on having drank a disgusting liter of salt water every day for 10 days.
P.S. I’m totally drinking coffee right now, and smiling.
And just for fun:
Yayuhhhh
On his comedy tour through the nation, Comedian
href=”http://www.brianregan.com/” target=”_blank”>Brian Regan took a brief stop to perform last night at the Austin Music Hall
Highlight:
In the midst of a joke about how a used car dealership tied balloons to everyone of their cars in order to increase sales, Regan turns away from the crowd. He expresses how humans are fascinated by the mere presence of balloons, and as he turns sideways, a half dead balloon floats down from the ceiling (this was not staged). The wilted balloon falls into the laughing crowd, and Regan–having missed seeing the balloon–turns to the crowd and says, “I feel like I’m the only person in this room who has no idea whats going on right now”
Someone yells, “a balloon, a balloon,” and Regan looks down to where the balloon fell into the audience
“I see. Yeah, I don’t want to put you into a tight spot or anything, but I’m going to need you to pop that balloon. Because, you see, I’ve been in the industry long enough to know I can’t compete with a balloon.”
