It’s getting to be that time of the semester again. The struggle of being in the thick of the course workload, trying to keep up with extracurricular shiz AND having the undying need for cash is just so painful.

So, as soon as I realized I was done with my Texas government text, I ran to Bevo Books (it was an online ACC class) and proudly handed over the book. It was exciting on so many levels, but mostly I just had $$ signs in my eyes.

The time to sell back books is bittersweet. The cashier hands us dolla bills for the crap textbook that we’ve been avoiding all semester, yet the return is 25-40% of what we originally paid.

But this time, my return was going to be more like 15% of the original price! DANG IT! The employee explained that all of the college bookstores, including the CO-OP, have “off” times during the semester, and the most profitable time to return stuff is the week before final exams.

Since textbooks aren’t hot quite yet, here are a couple ideas for legal, fast cash:

- Craigslist! Furniture, iPods and digital cameras all sell fast among the students (speaking from experience).

- Amazon.com is great for selling books, and buying them. Next time you think that buying from the CO-OP is worth it because of the easy resale, check the price of the book on Amazon. You’ll find crazy cheap prices that will make you not care about the resale (I’ve bought books for class for $.25).

-Donating body stuffs (ie. plasma, platelets, sperm). Yeah I know this is kind of sketchy, but every day it seems like more of a possibility…

I would like to call your attention to the “Greek Life” advertising supplement of The Daily Texan. First and foremost, The Texan would never publish any faux Louis Vuitton. The colorful greek symbols intended to be a replica of the high class luggage is tacky and the content is a total joke. If you haven’t seen it, consider yourself lucky.

West campus construction sites have created an unprecedented forum for E-Bus and WC-Bus riders, along with passerby who carry a sharpie… and a spray paint can.

Need an adrenaline rush? or just need a chance to escape all commitment, including staring at the same paragraph in your bio book every 30 minutes, avoiding your roommate, and/or procrastinating?

Well, here is all you need to know to get that weekend adrenaline rush:

1.) Jet Skiing

With the fresh Lake Austin breeze and the 45 nautical mile rush, you can’t wrong with a week-end on the lake. You can rent a jet ski or boat from numerous places on the lake, but my favorite is Just for Fun, due to their higher end Jet Skis. Though, if you are under 18 years of age or forgot your driver’s license along with those commitments, then I recommend renting from the shady looking shack to the left of Just for Fun. The main huncho there spends most of his day smoking (not so legal substances) and hence will not notice the difference between your driver’s license and this.

2.) Skydiving

 This is the ultimate adrenaline rush of all. The second your body leaves that plane, your brain releases a multitude of endorphins, allowing to disregard death and enjoy the 13,000 foot drop. Despite its hefiter price, its worth every cent. According to my tandem instructor and partner, the thrill of Skydiving never gets old, and with over 5,000 jumps and counting, he would be one to know.

3.) Helicopter Flight 

Journey with a man willing to steer his helicopter so close to the Tower, you’d swear you could hear the bell tweak. With HeliJet, you can fly from Lake Austin to Downtown and to the UT campus for a considerably cheap price with a jolly, former military pilot named Ray.

4.)Rafting

No this isn’t your life-threatening water-white version of rafting. It’s more like floating down Lost Creek in a $20 raft, while watching a man armed with a beer belly and six-pack struggle to jump into his raft as the current pushes it down the creek. While you can pay for a more adventrous experience, I suggest driving down with some friends down to Lost Creek in South Austin and floating down the Barton Creek GreenBelt…

And if none of these wild children fulfill your weekend adrenaline needs, then I suggest a little extreme Zorbing in New Zealand might suit your needs…

  With the Texas vs. Stanford Sweet Sixteen showdown fast approaching, Longhorn fans are only tearing themselves away from their brackets for one thing- deciding where to watch the game.  While this decision may seem insignificant to some, the truly impassioned Longhorn bracketologist knows that the precise recipe for the ultimate tourney-watching location must fulfill a few definitive criteria. Location, quantity and quality of televisions, and drink prices (making the ‘celebratory’/’drinking your NCAA sorrows away’ bar tab a bit easier to swallow come morning) are all crucial in finding that heavily sought after sports bar nirvana. Here is a short list of places that I can only hope will provide you with all the sweet basketball watching pleasure you are hankering for.  

The online celebrity tabloid “The Popcrunch Show” released an article entitled, “Hottest Student Bodies: The 50 Best Colleges Ranked by Looks” Monday, which displayed a list of 50 colleges and a blurb about the female population at each with photos attached.

Unfortunately, Texas women placed 12th. Then again, it was hard to compete with the top 10 when a typical top 10 photo (like this from Auburn University

)

had to compete with a photo like this from our modest, stalked UT female population:

(our editors agreed this girl has no idea she was included on this site, nor being watched).

The blurb about us Texas ladies stated: “One word: chaps. They make for some of the hottest cheerleaders in the country. Like Ohio State, the University of Texas is absolutely massive, so no matter your taste in women you’ll be able to find it here.”

Here are some suggestions to get us number one next time:

• Wear chaps all the time!
• Save those pennies for bigger breasts!
• Look into the camera like you want that number one title (don’t be afraid of strangers taking pictures from high elevations)!
• Never give up! This is important!

And since the top winner was Arizona State, get UT back up to number one party school. Incoherence is very attractive on a young lady.

And quit being so modest!

Shutting down the sarcasm: UT women=number one.

I’ve heard the rumors surrounding this little inhabitant of the East Mall, and today all doubt of its existence was obliterated when it ran right in front of me. It was the…. dun … dun … dun… ALBINO SQUIRREL!

OK maybe not as scary as most urban legends (Big Foot, Abominible Snowman, etc) but it was still kinda creepy to see…. cute but only in a slightly off-setting kind of way…like some breeds of dog.

Turns out a University of Texas student founded the Albino Squirrel Preservation Society in 2001. “In the constant pursuit of albino squirrel rights.”

So there is a relatively new bar on West 6th Street that everyone should check out. Its called “The Ranch” and ironically looks like the inside of a ranch. It has this Colorado-esque feel to it, which is probably because of the animal heads hanging on the wall. Order draft beer because it is served in these heavy glass mugs, totally cool. They also double as an arm workout which is perfect if you’re arms are getting a little flabby. You should expect to wait in line because its getting more and more popular. Either way, just go. You’ll have fun.

Don’t let the cute, homey exterior setting fool you.
Once you enter here, expect the worst service and expect to pay large sums for it. In a way its surreal, the way they forget to serve you your drink, no matter how many times you request it. The fact the waitress answers her cellphone as you place your order and walk away. Or how the grim old man lurks in the corner of the restaurant, observing your every movement. Despite it all, you are left with no choice but to ignore everything and eat your unusually gooey Pad Thai. Then, the waitress hands you the bill, and the old man’s stare presses into your back.

It is in this very moment you should pay and run.

Otherwise prepare to be thrown out, scorned, and threatened in two different languages at once.

Your crime: leaving only a 15% tip behind

Your punishment: a humiliating public scene and the promise of much worse if you ever enter again

Don’t believe me? Check out more reviews at
http://austin.citysearch.com/review/10212872 or dare to visit this
noodle house on your own…

The Daily Texan reported yesterday that the APD began a jaywalking crackdown to prevent auto-pedestrian accidents. After a reported 461 auto-pedestrian crashes occurred in 2007, the APD is increasing the number of jaywalking citations issued with fines up to $280.

I find it hard to criticize the measures be taken too harshly as the motive behind the crackdown is to ensure our safety. There are those we see everyday barely escaping oncoming traffic while distracted by cell phones and ipods that could use a $280 wake-up call.

But, for the purpose of playing devil’s advocate (and because this really could be ridiculous) I must question the initiative. For every jaywalking pedestrian there will be a dangerous driver turning on red. (Though, I would love to see APD on bicycles try issuing the herd of students crossing at 24^th and Guadalupe tickets as they sprint out into the street at the last blinking hand crosswalk signal.)

The ticket below was issued to a jogger who ran across the street at an intersection when no oncoming traffic was in sight. It was an easy way for APD to collect a quick $280, but ultimately not ensuring the safety of anyone.

If “you are what you eat” is true, then food joints near UT aren’t exactly making us honor students.

Below is an image of a customized Google map with placemarkers on nearby restaurants where the majority of the customers are students, along with each one’s last health inspection grade.

Top 5 healthiest environments to in eat near campus:

• Potbelly Sandwich Works: 100
• Schlotzky’s Deli: 100
• Chipotle: 97
• Einstein Bros Bagels: 97
• Pluckers: 97

Top 4 unhealthiest environments to eat in near campus:

• Madam Mam’s: 70
• Veggie Heaven: 71 (I don’t care, I love it!)
• Mellow Mushroom: 72
• Trudy’s Texas Star: 75

Visit the map to find out what your favorite restaurant received!

So last Wednesday night, I drove to campus a little early for a meeting and found myself fleeing from a golf cart. (Let’s just say I was ‘pausing’ at 7:20 p.m. in a parking space that became legal for my C-permit status ten minutes later. I noticed a PTS cart pull up behind me at like 7:25 and was forced to peace the heck outta there….)

Face it, parking on campus can be a real doozie at anytime of the day… especially if you don’t know what’s up.

So here’s a some little sweet peaces of parking space heaven that I’ve begun using lately:

- The handicapped spaces directly in front of the Tower. Don’t let that little blue man fool you. The spots are open to everyone with a C-Lot after 7:30 p.m.

- There are three ‘hidden’ spaces on the backside of the Harry Ransom Center. They are for official visitors until 5:45 p.m. And for the rest of us “unofficials-without-any-permits” after that… BE CAREFUL THOUGH: There are only 3!

Happy Parking!

Dang it, St. Patrick’s Day didn’t fall on spring break ‘08. Since the green beer is flowing this year on the Monday after break AND after South by Southwest, many of us had to say no to the Irish festivities.

I don’t care how authentic the beer was, or how delish, I don’t even want to smell downtown Austin after spending the entire past week there. So I checked the options Austin has to offer for non-drinking, non-downtown fun during this green holiday.

SURPRISE! Not much.. However, if you’re looking for a free way to relax when you’ve got a case of the Mondays, Ruta Maya coffee house on South Congress has Yoga Happy Hour at 5:30 p.m. They offer it on Wednesdays, too. Like I said, it’s free, but technically you have to spend some $$ because they require a purchase (ie a drink or a snack) in order to participate at no cost.